Self Esteem Part 1 - Types of and Impacts on Self-Esteem

When delivering an assertiveness workshop, two aspects seemed to hit home with the participants. One was colse to relieve zones and the other self-esteem.

Individuals had most difficulty in accepting their own accountability and selection about self-esteem.

Fluke

What is self esteem?

Ok, before going any further, what do you or your clients understand 'self-esteem' to be? Self-esteem typically refers to the way you think and feel about yourself. It combines both your estimation of personal competence as well as your estimation of basic worth as a human being.

What impacts self esteem?

The way we view and feel about ourselves has a profound ensue on how we live our lives. These opinions are shaped by experiences in the family, at school, from friendships and in wider society.

Most very young children don't surely think about self-esteem. They are ordinarily valued and feel valued just as they are - without comparisons or judgments about how concluded and/or lovable they are. Somewhere as we grow most of us lose that innocence. Beliefs and needs start to impact on our view of ourselves.

The interaction in the middle of the environment in which you live and work, and the environment you establish within yourself influences your self esteem.

Types of self esteem

I would categorise three main types, or levels, of self-esteem along a continuum:

Low self esteem healthy self esteem high self esteem

Self esteem is rarely consistent. So when reading the following descriptions, you will probably recognise one or two characteristics from the two that are least like your client. You will probably find one that is most like your client and still not all the descriptions will fit.

1. Low self esteem

The more frequent, intense and continuing negative thoughts and feelings a someone has about themselves, the lower their wide self esteem is likely to be. Some of the effects low self esteem can have on an individual's beliefs and behaviours are:

Little belief in their abilities If things go well, they dismiss them as luck or fluke Expect that they will do poorly at a task prior to trying it Give up fast when faced with difficulties notice failed attempts and discount/ignore successes and so 'confirm' negative thoughts - ie self fulfilling prophecy! Let things happen to them rather than make things happen Feel they have petite operate over their own life Give power over to others Wonder what it is about them that causes bad things to happen to them Overly defensive when questioned and avoid request questions so don't look foolish 2. High self esteem

It is potential to have an apparently high level of self esteem but it is not necessarily based on reality. Some of the characteristics are:

Self aggrandisement (exaggerate greatness/importance) Feelings of superiority notice failings in others and not themselves A sense of entitlement Expect to be treated with respect and, at the same time, do not feel the need to show respect Assume they are best than most, if not all, population they meet Discount/ignore negative feedback by discrediting the source Put others down 3. healthy self esteem

As for healthy self esteem, here are some characteristics:

liking themselves, for the most part, as they are, only occasionally having short bouts of self doubt respecting themselves as well as others compatible with humility, placing them midway in the middle of grandiosity and self-effacement confident without being overbearing see criticism and questioning as useful feedback generally take setbacks and obstacles in their stride, and able to accept and learn from their own mistakes unlikely to feel a need to put others down open and assertive in communicating, for instance their needs self reliant and resourceful without refusing help able to laugh at themselves, not taking themselves too seriously Where do your clients fit on the continuum? How happy are they with it?

Self Esteem Part 1 - Types of and Impacts on Self-Esteem

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