Language Development: 3 Tips On How to Raise an Optimistic Child

Today's child is a virtual reality child.

Instead of being allowed to climb trees in order to see the sky, we cut down low-hanging branches lest a one fall and hit someone in the head. A incommunicable school child may dine on delicacies such as squash fries, yet be banned from cooking in his kitchen on the opportunity that he hurt himself.

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On the other hand, the same child is allowed to dine on a diet of violent or explicit movies, listen to music whose lyrics would make their grandmother swoon, and dresses in clothing designed for a sex-crazed thirty year old.

Such helicopter parenting is becoming the norm, rather than the exception. This is an age where conscientious parents work hard to make sure their child feels great about all they do - regardless of either they deserve it or not.

But is this undoubtedly best for children? Do children undoubtedly advantage from a no-fail, no bad-experiences environment?

The retort is no. Thorough research shows that children who are fed a "feel-good" diet, are undoubtedly more likely to sense depression, and feelings of helplessness. Instead of being taught that negative feelings like anger, anxiety, and discontentment are an indication that convert is necessary, they are told that it's unacceptable to sense "bad" feelings.

It's no wonder depression medications are the number one prescribed drug in the U.S.

In order to truly feel good about yourself, you need to do good. You must sense a sense of mastery. You need to sense the frustration, the boredom, and the acute distress of trying to make "it" happen, before you can feel good about yourself. No one appreciates success without the heady feeling of having stretched yourself to the limit, and despite the odds, reached success.

That would be a small like swallowing Lydia Pinkham's Vegetable Remedy- smells good, tastes great- but made of nothing more than water and alcohol (and a small cocaine or heroin if you got lucky).

Raising children who feel good about themselves is closely tied to being optimistic. Here are 3 tips you can use to help you raise optimistic children:

1) Help your child view setbacks as temporary. Children who are optimistic view setbacks as temporary. When they fail a test, for example, they tell themselves that they'll do best next time. When your child experiences an unpleasant event, either it's a failed test or a friend who rejects them, first empathize with their feelings.

When your child is less upset about the incident, help your child reframe the incident. Instead of telling your child it won't happen again (which may seem false), use questions to guide your child to comprehension how this definite situation is only temporary. Don't spend a lot of time trying to convince them: you are merely planting a seed for the future.

2) Give reputation where reputation is due. Children who are pessimistic look at failure as being their fault ("I failed the test because I'm dumb"), and view success as a fluke, unrelated to their own efforts ("I did well on the test because it was an easy test"). This encourages a phenomenon called "learned helplessness," where the child feels there's nothing he can do to best his situation.

Optimistic children, on the other hand, see things wholly the opposite: failures are a fluke ("I wasn't feeling well that day"), while success is due to their own efforts (" I undoubtedly studied hard"). As a supervene they are more resilient when failure occurs, and more likely to see themselves as successful, competent people.

Monitor how you react to failure. Do you accuse your child of not trying hard enough, or of not being smart enough? Those are global assumptions that encourage pessimism. Instead, when your child fails, view his failure as a step towards success. When your child breaks a plate while washing dishes, recommend calmly. "Hmm, ceramic plates are pretty slippery when they're wet." He'll understand on his own that he needs to be right next time, instead of viewing himself as a clumsy loser.

Your child will learn to view failure as an opportunity to learn how to be successful.

3) Keep things in perspective. Help your child understand that not all they do will influence them for the rest of their lives. Teenagers especially tend to overgeneralize, assuming, for example, that a bad grade on one test will doom their college prospects forever.

Instead, wait until your child is less emotional, and then gradually remind them of a time when they despite their failure, they lived to see other day.

Optimism is a learned behavior. However, it will take time for your child or teenager to convert their mindset, so think it like the drip recipe of watering trees: it takes time, but it ultimately does the job.

Language Development: 3 Tips On How to Raise an Optimistic Child

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